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If Social Media Platforms Were Starbucks Orders

I start every day with coffee, a dark roast to be specific, black – sometimes iced, sometimes hot, it really depends on the day. I even get a little crazy sometimes and put in a splash of 2% or almond milk.

I appreciate coffee and all that it does for me, myself, and my sanity. There is so much appreciation, that I sometimes find myself day dreaming about my next cup and how delicious it will be. This time during my day dream, I had an epiphany – coffee can be related to social media platforms.

Wow—my two favorite things, coffee + social media, let’s keep this conversation going!!


Here are 6 social media platforms & a Starbucks order match for each:

Twitter: Espresso (but wants to be the double shot on ice.)

Are you ever on Twitter, either on desktop or mobile, and you’re interested in a tweet but then suddenly you exit out, only to return and 500 new tweets just topped that one? Yeah...that literally happens to me all the time.

Twitter = espresso because it works fast, giving you those updates and news at lightning speed (caffeine) and it’s small, 140 characters to be exact.

But…Twitter wants to be the new, cool way to order espresso: a double shot on ice, maybe with a little sweet cream. We all know Twitter has been struggling for quite some time to make that next big update to keep up in the ever changing social landscape, but nothing has been “WOW, IN YOUR FACE, GROUNDBREAKING.” Twitter continues to try, though, despite lack of acquisition interest and so-so new updates.

I do have faith in Twitter though—2017 will be a great year for the platform & that double shot on ice is going to taste delicious.

Facebook: Grande Pike Place

As I state in one of my pieces about The Social Media Davids, Facebook is one of the pioneers of social media. From 2004 up until today, this platform has been hot, Grande Pike Place hot.

Pike Place is Starbucks’ signature medium roast and much like the coffee, Facebook is a signature social media platform. Having an event? Make a Facebook event for it. Hanging out with friends for the day and want to share pictures? Make a Facebook album. Starting a business and want to increase sales/awareness? Make a Facebook page.

Facebook does it all and can support users on many different levels—just your average cup of Joe that helps you have a successful event, share memories with friends, and get the job done.

LinkedIn: Cappuccino

Hi, yes, I’ll take a cappuccino, please! Hmm, ordering a cappuccino sounds so sophisticated and professional, doesn’t it?

LinkedIn is the world’s largest professional network where companies and people thrive on many different levels. Similar to a cappuccino, LinkedIn has layers, espresso + foam, which can be made to your liking.

Espresso = LinkedIn’s 467M+ user base. These professionals come together to connect and show their expertise in the business world. Whether it is through sharing an individual publication or external thought leadership, LinkedIn makes it easy for professionals to get their insights out there. The platform also makes it easy for these professionals to get hired by great companies. This is where the espresso and the foam layer come together perfectly.

Foam = the 4M+ companies on LinkedIn. Connecting professionals to job opportunities, LinkedIn is one of the most successful recruiting tools for big brands. Companies seamlessly bring espresso together with foam by sharing company updates, news, and thought leadership.

Not interested in company A,B, or C though? That is fine, just don’t follow them – LinkedIn makes it easy for you to only get the foam of your liking, so go for the skim milk!

Sophisticated + professional = the LinkedIn Cappuccino.

Instagram: Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk

We all follow that one person on Instagram who posts ~50 times a day, and if you do any professional work in the social media realm, you know this is an epic, epic fail.

Instagram is meant to promote the best part of your day, your week, an event, etc. The filters and editing tools can make you look flawless and make that sunset not too shabby either. No, I don’t think the platform is shallow, that is just what it is used for – showcasing the best you, on your best day.

That means it is not your average cup of Joe. Instagram is the complicated, extremely long-named, but super delicious-looking latte. I have a Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk for Instagram here!

It’s hot, tall, skinny, and shows a bit of a health kick with the soy milk…every time I see a picture like that on Instagram it has well over 2k likes.

Do it for the gram – get yourself a VSVSL.

Snapchat: Pumpkin Spice Latte

Everyone always loses their minds over the release of the PSL. It has even become one of the company’s biggest marketing stunts over the past couple of years – seriously though, PSL has its own Twitter.

But it is not Twitter that mirrors this famous latte…it is actually Snapchat.

Snapchat was launched in 2011 and has been a frontrunner in the social media race ever since. With its quick, better watch it fast, content, the platform appeals to a younger audience—mostly aged ~18-30. There’s the first comparison, Snapchat & PSL are both HOT (and not just literally for PSL) with a younger crowd.

Don’t get too attached to the content, though. You have 10 seconds to view a traditional snap and 24 hours to view everyone’s stories. The platform keeps you waiting for that next funny picture of your BFF or the story of that concert you missed. Sound familiar PSL fans? The latte is so good until it’s gone. Being a seasonal beverage, Starbucks releases PSL in late August and pulls the product before spring.

And just like Snapchat, PSL keeps you waiting! But you’ll wait, we all know that.

Periscope: Cold Brew

Periscope is one of the new kids on the social media block and has already knocked off video-rivals Meerkat and Vine all while giving Facebook Live a run for its money.

Periscope is like taking a sip of a smooth cold brew. Video is not a new marketing tactic, neither is the process of steeping coffee for 12+ hours, but it is the fads that follow that are “new.”

The process of making cold brew coffee has been around for a very long time, but bottling it up, placing it on a menu and charging more than a regular coffee is new. The cold brew fad is sweeping the nation and is popping up everywhere such as Starbucks, Trader Joes, and Whole Foods. The same goes for video. It is not new, but the LIVE, quick videos, everyone wants to see are popular and are a part of a fast-growing marketing tactic.

Everyone is quick to jump on the Periscope bandwagon just as fast as they are to order that much needed cold brew.


So…which social media platform will you be drinking today?

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